Monday, March 29, 2010

Writing And Me

Can't resist to blog about this after reading this post from Cleffairy. Thought of using the same title as her but later she come charge me for royalty and I might eventually end up by the roadside selling my ass. Ok. Retarded jokes aside. How do I eventually fell in love in writing and then blogging? What's my purpose of writing?

Writing has been a part of me for a long time. I never had the greatest range of vocabulary and grammatical errors is one of the norm in my blog. Probably when I'm in primary school,
I got the highest score in the entire school for my essay and karangan. And over the time, my mother eventually force me to write and send me to many tuition that force me to write. In short, writing was forced into me as a second nature. However, my English still consider bad among many good writers. When I say bad, i really mean downright shitty.

How Does Blogging Comes About?
It started almost like everyone else. Wanted to squeeze some money out of  Nuffnang. I was once annoying. Which means I drop by every single blog I could and write "dropping by". But at least i leave a comment. Then, I realize how plain stupid it is. Because eventually not much ppl will appreciate what i wrote and blog about. Definitely not something I want. In short, I am writing for fame instead for myself.

The Now Me
I often noticed there are many things that people usually didn't notice. I wouldn't say I am correct in every cases, in fact, I was look forward to people commenting and try to say I am wrong and provide me a different opinion instead. I write what's in my mind without much filtering. Which kinda explains why I have so many grammatical errors in the first place. Probably in short, I'm a person that thinks too much. Not exactly a good thing if you ask me. But then, writing has given me a life and a personality I always wished for.

In real life, I'm nothing much like how I blog. I'm well retarded and the jokes I make are a cross between lame and intelligent. At least that's what one of my good friends once said. I am very seldom serious and this made many people do not take me seriously. Or even believe me at some point. I have very few trust issues with people but people seems to have a lot of trust issues with me. Probably due to the way I look? I don't know but I'm still searching for someone who actually trust me.

Blogging gave me a new life. A life which people will take me seriously at some point. I have my friends. But they rarely will sit and have serious talks with me. Something that I wishes for and something that I never quite achieve it. It's not like I'm being a different person altogether online, It is just me being more serious while maintaining my retarded mentality. My blog had always been the one that never judge. Which eventually I created another blog to voice out my frustrations. I found some sort of comfort in writing. At least there is something I could do to help myself without any need to splurge money merciless and hence giving my parents heartache. LOL.

I Felt Blessed
By far, writing had done me good. It didn't get me into ISA trouble over the several things I said. But my writing brings people to me. There are several bloggers whom I felt tremendously honored to know. People who appreciate my thoughts and always leave comment. It also brings me to someone special who unfortunately didn't end up how it should be. Probably you will read this. Despite all that, I never regret knowing you. But I'm still pissed because that's what assholes should do right? Well, not like you care..

Some people eventually start to take me seriously. Some of them comes over to me and was surprised of the things I wrote. Despite ranting my ass out and being mean a lot of times, they still think the things I wrote are very true at some point. Probably. I don't judge myself for you guys. You guys do the judging. Right now, being famous is no longer important to me. Meeting people like Clef, Grey, Donna, Alpha Ace and so on so on that will eventually comment constructively in my blog or through me in MSN are definitely one the best things that ever happened to my blogging journey.

P.S: Someone might eventually said "I SAW MY NAME"" LOL. For those I left out, it's not because I forgot, I'm just lazy. XD. Anyway, sorry for the lack of pictures. The bloody blogger-in-draft had a hard time uploading this shit. Any suggestion how to blog besides through this piece of shit? Or should I change to Wordpress? Hmmm

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