Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Distance

When I first got started with Caroline, a lot of people have been asking me these several questions. Mind you, these are not only the questions being asked but definitely the MOST POPULAR ones.

1. How you two met?

2. Have you met her before?

3. How is it possible when you two haven’t even met before?

I too had been wondering regarding the question number 3. Honestly if you ask me now, I wouldn’t know how to answer. Probably I do not want to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity? Probably I should give it a try and see how things will proceed later on? But that’s not the real purpose of this post. I ponder upon the question 3 for a long time and I came up with this.


long_distance_relationship

What forms an attraction between two individuals? What makes two individual falls in love with one another? Communication? Eye contact? Physical Contact? Or every single one of them? When people came and said that they find it hard to believe how two individuals only connected through the virtual world can together, I could not really answer them. I would definitely say, sometimes, things just happen. Which it is. But what makes that sort of thing to happen?

When a guy chase after a girl, the physical beauty definitely came first for them. If you are a guy who initiate a move to ask a hot stranger for number or get to know her and try to chase her, please don’t give me bullshit that looks does not matter to you. What else would made you make a move for someone you don’t really know if not for their outer beauty? Is not as though their personality is written on their forehead or something right? The same goes for the girls who made a first move to get to know a guy. Either the guy is extremely good looking with hot bods or just plain rich. That’s how superficial the world is. That’s physical attraction for you guys.

But when 2 individuals start to fall in love, physical outlook does not really matters anymore. The feelings and characteristic that come first. And how does all these are nurtured? Yes. Communication.

It does not take physical contact such as kissing or sex to fall in love with someone. Those are just components to keep a relationship alive and passionate. It takes understanding, communication and mutual interest to start a relationship. This brings to question 3. How is it possible. The both of us chat through MSN, twitter, facebook, SMS and calls. Even webcam with each other. In short, communication is the main essence of our relationship. So I was wondering this.

maintaining-long-distance-relationship

Why is it any different with meeting up in real life and communicate?

We too talked and see each other(webcam). So I guess that is why we can develop feelings? The same process that each and everyone had to go through before developing such mutual feelings. It is true that we lack physical contact and we might missed many things on ach other such as the way we act. But that will be much of a question of security rather than developing feelings right? It’s true that despite us looking sweet, we both feel quite insecure regarding each other.

And it is usually I judge a person by his/her speech. Although action speaks louder than words but action does not really exclude speech right? Showing concern and care, does not have to be in physical contact or money. Being by someone’s side does not have to be standing right there cuddling or hugging. Sometimes, the moral support and words of encouragement meant as much. Be it to your family or lover. Especially going through an exam or task alone which means it is impossible to have the physical presence beside. Don’t get me wrong, if I can choose, I rather have her physical presence near me rather than far away. Of coz that will be a much better world for me.

So my conclusion is this. Love can develop within such a long distance. But, the insecurity is definitely much greater than normal relationship I presume. Probably most people need to observe the other person’s characteristic before jumping in the conclusion to be together? But when things happen, they just happen. Probably this is not a satisfying answer to question 3 but I think it is the best that I could give you guys? May be future I could really answer you guys. LOL. But thanks for showing concern as I really appreciate it. =)

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