Saturday, August 8, 2009

Motorcycle Rides Will 100% Lead To Sex

I didn't knew of this until today. Apparently, students in UTM will likely to get hook up as long as they are riding a motorcycle together. Motorcycle rides will definitely equals to sex. Damn it, if I knew of this fact earlier, I will definitely sit for a motorcycle license and bid goodbye to my *ahem* collection *ahem*. This is how the situation is likely to be...

Boy: Come, let me fetch you back to college

Girl: Sure..

(half way through the ride)

Boy: Damn, I feel horny. Must be the sound of motorcycle engine and you talking loudly behind my back is turning me on.

Girl: Yeah, me too. The back of your helmet is soooooo sexy. Let's fuck.

Boy: Wookay.....(park the motor aside for a quickie)

DAMN, if I know is this easy, I'm gonna get one motor and ride around UTM looking for a lonely girl to fetch.

What?

What do you guys mean that I won't get guaranteed free sex by offering them rides?

What do you girls mean that you don't find the way with our helmet on looks cool?

If I had my helmet on, I could be anyone you girls like me to be. From Orlando Bloom to Johnny Depp, from Justin Timberlake to Rain. If you girls have your helmet on, I would definitely imagine you to be Megan Fox, Jessica Alba or Yuma Asami. You were saying I do not have the body or height to be anyone of them? Well, so do I and I think we can definitely compromise here. Things are not always perfect... XD

No wonder motorcycle rides are so exciting and the majority of people here owns one. If you still thinks that I'm bullshitting about this, well, I HAVE PROOF. Apparently motorcycle rides leads too easily to sexual fantasies and sex, some people in UTM used their valuable lonely times and launch this campaign.

UTM SAY NO TO BONCENG!!!!

Apparently these ppl had found out the main factor(DAMN IT!!) that leads undergraduates into having sex are motorcycle rides. To put in simple form of mathematic equation...

1 Boy + 1 Girl + Motorcycle = SEX

They are so sure of it that they launched a campaign to BANNED such act among students and these group of people are taking matters into their own hand by asking people to sign their petition. When I first found out about this, I do not know whether to laugh loudly or to be angry over their stupidity.

They first go on preach about the moral standards in UTM, religion, sex and bla bla bla. To prevent such thing from happening, BONCENG IS NOT ALLOWED!!! I didn't pay much attention to much of the preaching as they are very predictable the moment you read first few lines of the blog. What I found amusing was a student doing it with the cleaner lady statement. This is my reaction to that statement.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So what if people have fetish for cleaner ladies and they get turn on by the sight of an aunty cleaning toilets? What does that bloody got to do with motorcycle rides? Do the student even owns a motorcycle? The motorcycle does not even come into the equation of this whole thing.

The student will not goes like "I do not have an motorcycle or I am not allowed to bring a girl on motor SO I do not have a fetish for aunty washing shits off the toilet bowl."

I do not know about you people but I seriously do not think that banning motorcycle rides can eventually cure fetishes or LOVE. That's the job of a psychriatist and not banning on dumb minor things. They seems to put in a lot of effort and thought into this whole BONCENG matter but instead of being selfish, have it crosses their mind these few points?

1. Banning this will eventually leads to many people do not have a more convenient of transportation and have to always rely on the ever unreliable UTM buses and taxis.

2. Students are poor and could not afford to get their own transportation and have to rely on others.

3. Some classes extends till 10 at night, having group discussions till midnight, a function till midnight(take Majlis Puncak Perdana for example) and so on so on. Around these hours, there are no buses around which eventually leads to students walking back to their hostel. Imagine this, girl walking alone midnight can eventually lead to 3 situations. Safely back but end up being too tired, being raped or robbed and encounter of the supernatural. Are these people implying that the moral standards among students should rate higher than the safety of these students?

4. Does it mean that guy could not ftech guy and girl could not fetch girl too? There is no doubt groups of gay and lesbians exist in UTM. Won't motorcycle rides eventually leads to unnatural sex?

5. Less motorcycle rides equals to more taxi rides. Thanks for helping to burn the students' wallets. I bet everyone is as rich as people who do not mind this.

These people claimed that they did this for the good of the students and university but for me they did it based on their selfishness. How bad can a motorcycle ride be? They are saying that we are very closed minded by going against this campaign. They are the ones that are closed minded. It had never crossed my mind of wanting to have sex with girls i fetch on my motorcycle. Everytime i fetch them, I just did it out for the sake of helping them instead of fucking them. What kind of morons would think of sex with anyone they fetch? Will they think of sex with their mom if they fetch them on motorcycle? They are the ones having a narrow mindset by implying and making assumptions that everyone thinks like them.

They preach about their religion and so on and have they ever thought that not everyone are as unholy as they think. It's true that the moral standards here is not what they hope to be BUT motorcycle rides DO NOT contribute to that much. If they wanna do it, a simple call for taxi, walking, and even UTM bus ride can result in the same situation too. Can they guarantee that by banning this shit can eventually leads to drop of at least 50% in terms of immoral activities? I thought religion taught them to be wise but why not using all the wisdom in figuring out these things?

Do they even ask the opinions of the non-bumiputeras regarding this? Simply imposing rules without considering our thoughts and opinions is definitely going against the teaching of learning to respect other religion teachings.

Do they really consider enough regarding the possible negative outcomes of this rules? Are they sure that the rule will bring more good than bad? What if imposing this rule did not change anything? How can they even afford to repay us? Do they think that they can just get away with all this if their initial plan failed?

I am risking the wrath of many by putting up this post. I seriously think that the real reason behind the group of people who started all these are lonely people who gets easily jealous seeing happy couples. If you people have your loved ones with you, will you ask them take a taxi over to somewhere while you take the motor to that specific place? If dating is wrong, then what's the point of marrying? Do they really want to prevent love from happening?

If they said that dating around this age is wrong and we should stick to the conservative and traditional way then PLEASE study your history. People in the olden days used to get MARRIED AT 16 or even 12 and you people saying DATING AT THE AGE OF 20+ is wrong? I bet there will be a lot of people that are UNHAPPY with this post then I'll just say FUCK YOU. What makes you people think that you can simply write out and say your thoughts out and I CANNOT DO THE SAME? WHAT makes you people can simply tell others that WHAT YOU PEOPLE THINK IS RIGHT and you can get UPSET when I simply just do the same as what you guys did?

Preach and say all you want as I'm expecting HATE mails and comments for this post.You people have your say and now I think I deserve mine. I do not insult anyone but I just said out what I think is horribly wrong just like you people did. If you guys get offended and tries to bring me down then please go back to the Stone Age and eat dirt for having such a narrow mindset. That's all for now as I do not wish to further waste my time on you guys.


P.S: From the words of Russell Peters..."BE A MAN, DO THE RIGHT THING!"

7 comments:

老驴 said...

they should have cars and buses banned as well, cause it seems UTM students were so eager for sex----i mean very much---- they can do that while riding a bike, means they can have it on cars and buses too, and that will be more dangerous, 'cause they got a chance to do 3p 5p up to np...........yeah~

Eric Lee said...

hahaha They still can have sex while walking...

IsaacZ said...

It depends on what bike... some suspension can't take on high rev action (like my Baby Mario bike). After this, I'll be always looking for some action on a Bugatti. Stability + stamina = perfect maneuver.Anyone interested?
Well the U always talk about the crappy creative stuffs. But they are always telling us what to do. They can't be serious can they?

Eric Lee said...

I think they are very serious about it...yeah, they are serious about making themselves a joke...I have to give credits for their effort.. XD

Devella said...

Hey serious or not? UTM students sex every where? How come I don't know ==||| LOL

Next time an unknown people in UTM provide me free ride, I gotta beware of that....LMAO

Eric Lee said...

hahaha dunno wor...according to that website lo...haha utmsayno2bonceng.blogspot.com hahaha u le? update ur blog le

Sandy said...

funny, nice blog..especially d bonceng part..

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